As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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