I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
