is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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