I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
