just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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