On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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