then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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