idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
