I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
