So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
