Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
