i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
