Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
