Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
