I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
