i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And then he peed in my hair
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