He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Found the puke drawer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
