Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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