So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
