Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
