Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
