Your face is a jimmy john
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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