Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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