I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
