That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
