What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
