Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
