just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
