I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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