It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
