I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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