Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
