I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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