TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
