NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
