I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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