His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
birth control should be required to get into college
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
