i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ladies don't puke and tell
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
