Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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