well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
