this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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