Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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