if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
