Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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