i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
