You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
