I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
