i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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