This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
