Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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